If there’s a Maslow’s hierarchy to unpacking, Sam and I have worked our way up a level or two on the pyramid. We’re sleeping in our own beds, washing clothes, and cooking for ourselves. Last weekend, we played board games and rode bike. And, I started unpacking books and art.

Sam is setting up his room himself. Because he’s working full-time, he’s still got a lot to unpack. He’s in the master suite upstairs, so he can take his time. There’s plenty of room and his priorities are different.

He set up the internet on the first day. Last weekend, he tested the coaxial cables, to see where they lead. He also tested light switches. Ever since he was a toddler, pushing chairs up to the wall to flip light switches, Sam determines how a home is wired. Given the time, he will set the antenna and wiring to serve both his TV upstairs and my TV downstairs. No need to pay for cable or streaming. And, he’ll label the breakers in the box in the garage–always good in an emergency. (We have many light switches that do nothing in our new home. Maybe half the rooms have overhead lights, so perhaps ceiling fans, etc., were never installed when it was first built.)

I texted Shahla and told her that Sam was in his happy place, mapping the wiring in his head and doing his best to relay that map to me.

She texted back, “comfort skills.”

That’s an idea worth thinking about. When I wrote art reviews for the Fort Worth Star-Telegram years ago, I watched an artist draw the tiny grids that formed the foundation of her large canvases. Drawing the grids was meditative, she said. Her lines were smooth and beautiful. But if you looked closely, you could also see those moments when her pencil shifted a bit. Seeing those imperfections made looking at her work relatable and soothing, too.

Think of all the things we humans do that is both skillful and meditative: kneading bread dough, tying flies, spinning and knitting yarn, sanding wood, walking the dog. Work that can be ours alone. Engaging work, but not so challenging that we get overwhelmed by it. Work that we can do to feel competent and useful. Work we can turn to when we are ready to assert some control over our lives, for times like the one we’re in now.

What are your comfort skills?