Overheard in the Wolfe House #58

(After Peggy tries to encourage him to wear a handsome, new, powder blue shirt during the day, rather than at night.)
Sam: I have a mind of my own.
Peggy: Yes, you do. And you can ignore my advice as you see fit.

Cutting, and pasting, and passing it on

The Arc of Northeast Tarrant County presents…

ASPIRE – Parent Information Meeting
Applied Behavioral Analysis – ABA
Presenter: Billy Edwards, M.S., BCBA
Saturday, January 15, 2011
1:00 pm – 3:00 pm
The Arc of Northeast Tarrant County
1806 Haltom Road
Haltom City, Texas 76117

RISE – Families Helping Families Meeting
The Admission Review and Dismissal (ARD) Process
Presenter: Jill Stover, PATH Project
Saturday, January 22, 2011
2:30 pm – 4:30 pm
The Arc of Northeast Tarrant County
1806 Haltom Road
Haltom City, Texas 76117

Learning Together Workshop Series
Transition Transcends All, Creating Meaningful Lives for Individuals who have a Disability
Presenter: Debbie Wilkes, Statewide Consultant
Saturday, January 29, 2011
9:00 am – 4:00 pm
TCU – Dee Kelly Alumni and Visitors Center
2820 Stadium Dr.
Ft. Worth, Texas 76109

For more information, please visit www.arcnetc.org

Overheard in the Wolfe House #55

[after sustaining her end of at least 20 minutes of rapid-fire commentary, pressing questions and interrupted conversations that would wear down even the most hardened city news editor]
Peggy (to Paige): Now that you guys are all back home, I can stop trying to have conversations with the dog.

Family Can’t Do It All

Texas is going to shop in the social services departments for the $25 billion it needs to balance its budget, I’m banking on that.

Services for Sam and others like him in this state have always been poorly funded, and often pathetic in scope. Texas is just so stuck on this idea of picking yourself up by the bootstraps. Or, alternatively, making sure a family takes care of its own.

I’ve been guilty of that kind of shortcut thinking, because there is a grain of truth to it.

Yet, there are plenty of times that Sam needs a leg up and, as his mother, I am the absolute most wrong person to give it.

For example, his voyage into the work force — soon he is going to be underemployed, computer certificate in hand, but still sacking groceries at Albertsons. He’ll need help with the job search. The college’s placement center will be a resource, but he’s going to need some intense coaching for this part of the process. He had more than six months of support to get that job at Albertsons.

The job hunt is one of our most elaborate social rituals.

No place for your mom.

When Baby Birds Fly

Earlier this week, the boys and I drove to Plano. We checked the route to SMU in Plano.

(We did some other cool stuff, like eat a terrific lunch at Whiskey Cake Kitchen Cafe, and buy some shirting fabric to make Michael two more custom dress shirts … his mother is his secret tailor.)

But SMU in Plano is home to the place where Sam is hoping to do his internship this spring.

Some dedicated parents and professionals have started nonPareil.institute, a computer workgroup for young adults on the autism spectrum. Sam wants to volunteer as part of a practicum he needs to complete his computer technology certificate at North Central Texas College.

We’ve been taking this whole thing in baby steps. It has been extraordinarily difficult to find help in searching for an internship for him. First of all, state resources meant to help … major vacuum there.

The college isn’t quite yet set up to assist students like Sam in the search — in the past, they have had their hands full just managing and approving the opportunities students found for themselves. Hopefully, that will change as the program grows and matures at the Corinth and Flower Mound campuses.

Job fairs at nearby UNT? For UNT students only … no sharing. I suggest renegotiating boundaries there — just like they’ve done with scores of other resources college kids need to succeed.

A friend in the computer business heroically, graciously did a little bit of legwork for us, enough for us to understand that Sam couldn’t just walk into the door of a company and offer himself for a computer hardware tech internship. He would have to find out who the vendor was that provided the service and take it from there.

Holy cow. That seemed like asking someone to find out who brings the bagel cart every morning and then finding out if they’ll let him arrange the cream cheeses before the carts head out the door every morning.

I think. I don’t know. Computer tech isn’t my world. My world is “content creation.”

But, as luck and Divine Intervention would have it, someone caught a presentation by the nonPareil people at an autism conference and they passed the materials on to me. I shared with NCTC, an advisor at NCTC reached out, and finding the waters warm, on Tuesday, we drove there and walked around the building to get a vibe.

No people vibes, just driving and building vibes.

As I said, baby steps.

That was enough to get Sam pretty jazzed. He called the director and left a message. And applied for a tolltag.

That just about made me weep. I was girding myself for driving him there two times a week. But Sam says, “I can make that drive. I like this area. I could even get an apartment here.”

I reminded him that internships don’t pay, and the rent at Chez Wolfe can’t be beat. Especially at the SO NY Lofts at Tennyson and the Tollway.

Baby steps, son. Baby steps.

Overheard in the Wolfe House #53

[As Sam douses the Christmas roast pork with winter fruits and a port wine reduction on his plate with ketchup]
Michael: Man, Mom, you could cut this roast with a butter knife.
Peggy [blinking back tears]: That’s something your dad would have said.

Merry TubaChristmas!

I’m looking at my clock and realizing there’s still time to head to Dallas for this wonderful tradition invented by tuba players — the only musicians who really know how to have fun.