Forgotten stories of autism

By Peggy | October 4, 2010 |

The Atlantic has a fantastic story about Donald Triplett, the first person to be diagnosed with autism. The authors, John Donvan, perhaps more famously known as an ABC Nightline correspondent and Caren Zucker, a television producer and mother of a teen with autism, got the story as part of a collection they are working on for a new book.

The story shows us how Donald became to be diagnosed, what his early life was like, how he enjoys his twilight years — golfing, as any well-heeled gentleman might spend his retirement — and how he’s living as an accepted member of his hometown, Forest, Miss.

The authors sought out an expert in adults with autism to flesh out their story — kind of a rare breed. One thing that Peter Gerhardt, developer of an adolescence-to-adulthood program at the McCarton School, said, resonated with me:

“People want to treat these adults [with autism] like little kids in big bodies. They can’t. They’re adults.”

Here, here.

“It’s having friends It’s having interesting work. It’s having something you want. It’s all the things the rest of us value, once given an opportunity.”

Posted in adults with autism, hope

Overheard in the Wolfe House #28

By Peggy | October 2, 2010 |

Sam: It’s Oct. 1. Have you downloaded your bank statement yet?
Peggy: Oh, no, not yet.
Sam: Are you all caught up on Quicken yet?
Peggy: Oh, no, I’m behind.
Sam: I’m all caught up on Microsoft Money, checking, savings …
Peggy: Way to go, Sam. High Five.
(Sam hits Peggy’s hand on both sides, then sandwiches them and shakes.)
Peggy: Ok, well shake hands then.
Sam: It’s uncommon to shake hands in our family.

Posted in What Sam says

Imposter syndrome

By Peggy | September 30, 2010 |

I have a friend who is wildly successful at what she does, but suffers from imposter syndrome. She’s worried someday that she’ll be found out, that everyone will see her as she sees herself: an imposter.

I frequently worry about that as a parent. Somehow, I’m certain that the world will look beyond my kid with special needs, and the fact that he’s walking and talking and working and happy — which I attribute far more to God’s loving hand than my bumbling efforts — and see me and my other children and know the truth. I am a lousy mother.

Yet, once in a while, I get a small affirmation about the decisions I make as the mother of my other two children. In today’s mail, someone in my other son’s life took a moment to say thanks and add the observation that makes every mother’s heart sing … “I respect and admire your ability to let him take the lead with his own destiny — not an easy thing to do, mom, and not something I see every day.”

There you go, Michael. I’m not the best, as moms go, but it’s sure better than a stick in the eye.

Posted in decision-making, hope, problem-solving

Always starting at ground level

By Peggy | September 29, 2010 |

Sam has asked me several times in the past week how he can search for a job for his coop education credit next semester. That’s all that’s left between him and graduating from North Central Texas College with a technical degree, and finding a job.

For millions of other parents, this is the part where your child flies. They’ve laid the foundation in college, made loads of connections, worked with their college placement office, gone to job fairs, sent out resumes, interviewed, and got a job. You just get to sit back and watch the beauty of that butterfly unfold.

Not for kids like Sam. The world doesn’t know what to do with his smarts and his expertise because it comes in an unusual package. He is a hard worker, congenial, reliable — just ask the folks at Albertsons where he’s been sacking groceries for the last five years.

We planted a couple of seeds early in the semester, hoping some support for his upcoming job search will take root. But I’ve traveled this road so many times before.

I know what it’s going to take. I’ve got to stop everything else I’m doing (and as the single working mom of three, running a farm, threatened by the foulest kind of industry next door, it’s pretty effin’ busy around here) and devote hours and weeks and months of energy to help him get this going.

He deserves it. I want to be able to look at myself in the mirror, but give me a minute to shake my fist at the sky first.

Posted in rants

Live, and in person

By Peggy | September 26, 2010 |

Members of the DFW Parent-to-Parent team are sharing their wisdom and information about support available through Texas Parent-to-Parent at these upcoming events

Oct. 7-9
Texas State Autism Conference
Corpus Christi
Both Julie Rahn and I speak about parenting issues
autism.esc2.net

Oct. 21
Third Annual Parent Conference
Education Service Center Region 7
1909 N. Longview Street, Kilgore
Julie Rahn speaks about parenting issues
www.esc7.net

Oct. 30
Resources For Parents Conference
Tarleton State University
Fort Worth Campus – Hickman Building
6777 Camp Bowie Boulevard
Julie Rahn and I are speaking about parenting issues … and we’ll have an info table
njoyfoundation.org

Nov. 6
Walk Now for Autism Speaks
Ballpark at Arlington
We’ll have an info table, but we’re also setting up a homemade play-doh play station for the kids …
We’re making play-doh the way Sam likes it: purple smells like grapes, red like strawberries, etc.
www.walknowforautismspeaks.org

Posted in Uncategorized

Impulse control

By Peggy | September 25, 2010 |

The University of Toronto came out with this beautiful little study about self-talk and impulse control.

All three of my children talk to themselves, not just Sam. However, when he started — as a tweener — his impulse control really improved. He likes to pace our wrap-around porch and talk.

I think I’m going to try that self-talk thing the next time I want seconds of pie and see how it works.

Posted in problem-solving