Calling April “autism acceptance month” helps both families and our broader culture. We needed more than awareness. In the swarm of information that follows a diagnosis, many parents hear that hidden message: autism is a disease or pathology. Of course, such a message will sidetrack families.

Like all parents, we responded to our son’s progress with love and joy. Thankfully, science is making its own progress. That means some of the more damaging messages about autism are losing their grip.

I began to understand this as I was writing my first book, See Sam Run. I recalled a pivotal moment from Sam’s early childhood. His preschool teacher had urged us to “extinguish” one of his “perseverative” behaviors. We talked it over. As we translated those science-y words to plain language, they lost their power. We let him be.

Our son was growing and changing every day. We wanted to trust his inner drive. Some of the things that he did appeared to have a purpose to him, even if we didn’t understand them. We wanted to respond to him just as we would any another child: focused on where he was and responding to him with joy as he showed progress.

The science of human learning is catching up. We are learning that we’d made the right choice. There’s some new science exploring this big idea about nature and our inner drive. They call it the many-wrongs principle.