Four weddings and a long ago funeral

Tonight was the fourth wedding I’ve attended since Mark died. The first wedding came about eight months after, and I was a wreck.

On your own wedding day, part of your heart opens up and it just gets bigger and bigger until your beloved isn’t there anymore.

Oh, mercy, that expansive, empty space hurts on another couple’s wedding day, no matter how happy you are for them.

When I first saw the date on the invitation, the night before Mark’s birthday, I wondered. But it’s also been nearly five years. Tonight, as we were waiting for the bridal procession, I heard the violinist begin the first few phrases of Ashokan Farewell — one of Mark’s favorites. My eyes couldn’t focus, and I could feel my knees and my heart giving way, but then the string ensemble transitioned to another tune.

Then, I told myself that little bit of music was just Mark’s way of winking and letting us know that they were all there …

Congratulations, Megan and Brandon!



  1. TXsharon on September 18, 2012 at 2:10 am

    You are lucky to have experienced that kind of love. I never have.

  2. Karen J on September 18, 2012 at 3:02 am

    Mark was one terrific person who will live in with us for many, many years. Happy Birthday Mark! Wish you were here.

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