Working Title

By Peggy | June 29, 2011 |

So, yes, I’m working on another book. My longtime friend, Shahla Alai Rosales, an applied behavior analysis professor at the University of North Texas, and I are putting together a parenting book on decision-making.

We recognized that parents make decisions for their young children everyday. But parents of children with disabilities often make more decisions, and sometimes for the duration of their child’s entire life. We wanted to put together timeless information for parents, guiding their decisions so that they result in lifelong happiness and satisfaction for their child and their family.

I told my co-worker, Lowell Brown (with whom I’d also like to co-author a book on the Barnett Shale someday) the working title for our parenting book:

Between Now and Dreams: A Parent’s Guide for Every Decision You’ll Ever Make.

Lowell’s deadpan response, “You think that’s comprehensive enough?”

Absolutely, dude. And we’re going to pack it all in a skinny little book that you can carry around in your brief case or purse.

We’re going to change the world.

Posted in hope

Getting By With A Little Help From Our Friends

By Peggy | June 23, 2011 |

After my public whine about DARS, a few friends reached out with unexpected and much appreciated offers. Sam seized on them both, forwarding a resume to one and securing an interview with another.

I accompanied him to the interview, in part because I wanted to see my old friend, but also because she asked that I be there.

My friend runs a company started by her late husband assembling circuit boards. I’m sure there is nothing in “What Color is Your Parachute” or any of the other how-to-get-a-job-books about bringing your mom along, but that’s how we roll.

Sam and my friend communicated just fine together. They are both straight shooters. She gave him a tour and checked his ability to do some of the fine motor work. Then she told him she would work around his Albertsons schedule for now. Very classy. If it doesn’t work out, there is an easy retreat for both of them.

But I have to say, at the end of the interview, when she asked about another task altogether — helping her link up some kind of time clock hardware to her current accounting software — I saw a huge spark in Sam’s eyes.

Posted in adults with autism, hope, self-advocacy

Every Day of The Year

By Peggy | June 15, 2011 |

Based on things Sam has said about the gas plant next door over the past 12 months, I can tell he wakes up each day and thinks, “Maybe today is the day that they lose and we win and we can stay.”

As my friend Nancy said, it’s sweet, but it’s sad.

It’s a universal truth, too. I wake up everyday thinking my husband is alive and my home isn’t threatened.

Then I draw my first waking breath.

Posted in hope

They Just Don’t Get It

By Peggy | June 15, 2011 |

I called DARS today — that’s Texas Department of Assistive and Rehabilitative Services to you non-Texans out there.

I reminded the counselor that we had talked more than six months ago, looking for help finding an internship … but if not, soon he would be graduating and, in the eyes of the state, “underemployed.”

Well that day is here, and could they help with a job search and a coach, like they did with Albertsons, only with a tech job?

She said just about every way she could that she couldn’t help, and I listened and listened. Then when it was my turn to talk, I said, I’m not sure what all I just heard here, but essentially I heard that you can’t help.

Oh, no, she said, that’s not it. I just don’t want you to have any expectations that we’ll be successful this time. The providers they work with don’t have contacts in the tech world. The best network will be the one I can make for him. Besides, the job market is really soft, no one is getting hired. We could be at this for a very long time.

Essentially, repeating herself, but objecting to my characterization of what she says.

Yeah, I get that at work a lot.

But, I kept my mouth shut on the characterization and went searching for common ground.

Sam needs help navigating this alien world of job-searching. He needs help searching and applying for jobs. He needs help with the interviews. And once an employer is ready to take a chance on him, he’ll need help for a little while — and so will the employer — understand the expectations and learning how to communicate with each other.

Mercifully, at some point, before she could reply to me with another round of negativity, either my phone hung up on her or her on me.

The guys at nonPareil have seen it — Sam understands and works hard. He loves to solve problems, and he has a lot of stamina and thinking power to do it.

I called Gary Moore, who collects stories like these because he hears from parents every day, just to add to the pile. The pile know as “DARS just doesn’t get it.”

He called back and did some brainstorming with me. Lots more than required, but I appreciated it. He reminded me that Sam built a bunch of computers during his internship with nonPareil, computers meant for DARS clients.

But DARS can’t help him find that employment.

Duh.

Posted in adults with autism, rants

Overheard in the Wolfe House #106

By Peggy | June 11, 2011 |

Sam: What was that all about?
Peggy: Susan was helping me re-arrange the furniture so that it looks a little better when the real estate people come around
Sam: When does that start?
Peggy: Maybe as soon as next weekend.
Sam: We’re doomed.

Posted in What Sam says