Posts by Peggy
Conscious parenting
When the boys were still babies, Mark and I watched other parents with their trials and tribulations.
After watching enough toddlers and preschoolers run to their mother’s arms when they were hurt — sometimes running right past father on the way — Mark decided it was important to him that our children be comforted as readily by him as by me.
He felt that he was at a disadvantage because I was the one with the breasts. Frankly, though, it wasn’t hard to to convince the boys that daddy’s hugs and kisses made the boo-boos go away, too. If something happened when Mark was around, he swept in and gave the lovin’ required. Sometimes I’d bring the band-aid and give it to Mark to apply.
Age plays with the memory, to be sure, but I cannot remember ever seeing any of our children, hurt and crying, and in Mark’s arms but reaching for me, instead.
I’m not exactly sure what it got us, but now that Mark is gone, I’m grateful for it.
Conscious parenting was all that was required.
Angels in Switzerland
I’m so grateful for the angels God puts on Earth. I never know when I’ll meet one, or get to spend time with a whole flock of them, like today.
(We’re setting up Sam’s internship … last step before graduation.)
I will share more details in the weeks to come, but all you parents of kids with autism, remember this: accept the angels for who they are and what they do. Let them be the angels God sent them to be. Your life will be better, richer, lovelier, happier …
Those things you worry about? Don’t try to bend the angels to your will. I practiced that lesson today. I’m trusting that things will work out. Because they always do.
Really.
They do.
Overheard in the Wolfe House #60
After helping Sam draw a hot bath to ease the discomfort of a sinus infection …
Sam: (blowing bubbles in the bathtub)
Overheard in the Wolfe House #59
Peggy: How was dinner last night with Michael? Your burger at Dutch’s?
Sam: It was good. I had a barbecue burger.
Peggy: A burger with barbecue sauce?
Sam: Yes, with sauce and bacon.
Peggy: Cheese?
Sam (in a most serious tone): Cheese doesn’t go with barbecue.
Overheard in the Wolfe House #58
(After Peggy tries to encourage him to wear a handsome, new, powder blue shirt during the day, rather than at night.)
Sam: I have a mind of my own.
Peggy: Yes, you do. And you can ignore my advice as you see fit.
Cutting, and pasting, and passing it on
The Arc of Northeast Tarrant County presents…
ASPIRE – Parent Information Meeting
Applied Behavioral Analysis – ABA
Presenter: Billy Edwards, M.S., BCBA
Saturday, January 15, 2011
1:00 pm – 3:00 pm
The Arc of Northeast Tarrant County
1806 Haltom Road
Haltom City, Texas 76117
RISE – Families Helping Families Meeting
The Admission Review and Dismissal (ARD) Process
Presenter: Jill Stover, PATH Project
Saturday, January 22, 2011
2:30 pm – 4:30 pm
The Arc of Northeast Tarrant County
1806 Haltom Road
Haltom City, Texas 76117
Learning Together Workshop Series
Transition Transcends All, Creating Meaningful Lives for Individuals who have a Disability
Presenter: Debbie Wilkes, Statewide Consultant
Saturday, January 29, 2011
9:00 am – 4:00 pm
TCU – Dee Kelly Alumni and Visitors Center
2820 Stadium Dr.
Ft. Worth, Texas 76109
For more information, please visit www.arcnetc.org
Overheard in the Wolfe House #57
Sam: I have a feeling I might be called into work today.
Peggy: Oh really?
Sam: Yes, I have a sixth sense about these things.
Peggy: A sixth sense, huh.
Sam. Oh, yes. It keeps me going in the right direction.
Overheard in the Wolfe House #56
Sam: Look, Mom.
Peggy: What is it?
Sam: It’s my tolltag. I got it today.
Peggy: Yay you.
Sam: Yes, Air Five.
Overheard in the Wolfe House #55
[after sustaining her end of at least 20 minutes of rapid-fire commentary, pressing questions and interrupted conversations that would wear down even the most hardened city news editor]
Peggy (to Paige): Now that you guys are all back home, I can stop trying to have conversations with the dog.
Family Can’t Do It All
Texas is going to shop in the social services departments for the $25 billion it needs to balance its budget, I’m banking on that.
Services for Sam and others like him in this state have always been poorly funded, and often pathetic in scope. Texas is just so stuck on this idea of picking yourself up by the bootstraps. Or, alternatively, making sure a family takes care of its own.
I’ve been guilty of that kind of shortcut thinking, because there is a grain of truth to it.
Yet, there are plenty of times that Sam needs a leg up and, as his mother, I am the absolute most wrong person to give it.
For example, his voyage into the work force — soon he is going to be underemployed, computer certificate in hand, but still sacking groceries at Albertsons. He’ll need help with the job search. The college’s placement center will be a resource, but he’s going to need some intense coaching for this part of the process. He had more than six months of support to get that job at Albertsons.
The job hunt is one of our most elaborate social rituals.
No place for your mom.