hope
Getting a promotion
I got word today that Sam has built two computers now, and has been asked to train another student there at nonPareil how to do it.
His first promotion.
I asked Sam yesterday whether he would want to take any more computer classes at NCTC after graduation. They probably would let him, I said. “I don’t think I’ll be doing any more of that,” he said.
The cap and gown are hanging in the closet. Instructions for the ceremonies arrived in the mail this week. We are rapidly coming to the edge of the cliff. I have no idea what’s in store, but we will do what we’ve always done before.
Leap, and the net will appear.
Overheard in the Wolfe House #89
Peggy (eyes twinkling): So, Sam, what is that package on the office floor?
Sam: That would be my hat and gown. (pause) And that’s all I’m going to say about that right now.
Never medicated
Today’s installment is from a CNN blog entry on a review of studies, determining whether drugs — pretty much of any kind — help treat autism “core” symptoms.
And the verdict? They don’t.
Not secretin, not antipsychotic drugs, not serotonin-reuptake inhibitors (SRIs), not antidepressants, not stimulants or any other medication for hyperactivity.
We never agreed to any kind of medication for Sam, even when it was suggested when he was struggling with some anxiety during his first year of college. We dusted off some relaxation techniques and he worked through it. Life is hard enough for him and kids like him without trying to do it doped up.
The only thing that helps core symptoms (repetitive behaviors, communication and socialization) is applied behavioral therapy, and the earlier the better.
And I’m with Dr. Margaret Bauman — some of those repetitive behaviors have a purpose. Pay close attention before you try to extinguish or re-direct them. You may be sorry you tried.
Overheard in the Wolfe House #73
Sam: I can’t invite people on Facebook to my graduation yet.
Peggy: Can’t you create the event?
Sam: I don’t know the date yet. May 12 or May 13. I don’t think I’ll know until right when I turn in the application.
…
Peggy: I’m thinking about blogging that you’re filling out your graduation application.
Sam: Ok, you can blog about that.
This is nice
The Dallas Museum of Art is opening early on Feb. 26 just for families of kids with autism.
While it would be wonderful if the world would let our kids be among them without all the stares and the judgement, sometimes it’s great to enjoy things like an art museum with your own kind. Some people in the arts world — usually a patron, almost never an artist — are extraordinarily intolerant.
I hope there is lots of overlap that day. After the two hours are up, and the regular patrons start coming in, they can feel that incredible, electric energy that comes with packing a bunch of our kids in a space and letting them be themselves and realize there is absolutely nothing to be afraid of.
Ouch
More than once, I’ve heard that there are too many memoirs written by parents, or siblings, or teachers of those with autism.
Wayne Gilpin told me and Dan Burns (author, Saving Ben, A Father’s Story of Autism, another in the Mayborn series that published See Sam Run) that he thought he had something when Temple Grandin’s mother wrote her memoir, but it didn’t sell like his other books.
Gilpin has a terrific collection of practical books, and frankly, when I had only $20 to spend, I chose the toilet-training book or the educational manual over a parent memoir, too.
Now New York Times staff editor, Neil Genzlinger, has weighed in on the topic, wailing that there are too many memoirs in our current age of over-sharing.
He makes a special notice for the autism memoir — way too many he said.
Ouch.
His tipping point is “Twin,” by Allen Shawn, who reflects on his family’s choice to institutionalize his twin sister nearly 60 years ago. Genzlinger shreds the book’s premise. Not having read the book, it’s hard to share in his criticism; however, his characterization — that the author was tone-deaf in explaining the family’s choice — doesn’t inspire me to even check it out at the library.
I learned plenty from Temple’s memoirs, and the writings of other parents. Sadly, many of those parental writings dedicated too much ink to curative measures, rather than what we’re all looking for.
I like the places in a memoir where real life slams into all the lessons we’re taught on how to live life.
It seems Genzlinger does, too, saying that those families that had the fortitude and resourcefulness to incorporate the child into their lives — and not pay someone else to take care of it — deserve to add to the heap.
Ok, well, not so much ouch anymore.
Cutting, pasting, passing it on …
From The ARC
The Screening Room – Critics Choice
Facilitated by Charlene Comstock-Galagan
Friday – March 25, 2011
9:00 am – 11:00 am
Location: To Be Determined
Join Charlene for a thought provoking discussion and screening of the latest and greatest
visual media and their deepest messages about inclusion and the meaning of belonging in
the 21st century. March is ID/DD Awareness Month. You don’t want to miss this opportunity!
Special Education – The ARD/IEP Process
Presenter: Charlene Comstock-Galagan
Friday – March 25, 2011
12:30 pm – 4:00 pm
Tarrant County – Specific Location: To Be Determined
Determining the special education services for a child/student is done through a strategic,
step-by step planning process. A process that crumbles if the foundation is cracked, a
critical step in planning is missed or out of order, or planning takes place without thoughtful
discussions based on the individual needs of a child/student.
DON’T MISS THIS OPPORTUNITY!
Charlene will review the ARD/IEP Planning process and share tools and strategies that
have produced positive outcomes for students who have an Individualized Education Program – IEP.
· The ARD/IEP agenda
· The purpose of assessment beyond eligibility
· Integrated and measurable goals and objectives
· Modifications & accommodations (across school settings)
· Supports for or on behalf of the student
· Placement decisions using a Planning Matrix
· Prior Written Notice… and more!
Employment For ALL – 2 Sessions (Customized Employment & Discovery, The Process)
Session 1: Customized Employment, an Overview
Presenter: Michael Callahan, International Consultant on Employment & Transition
Saturday – April 2, 2011
9:00 am – Noon
Location: To Be Determined
DON’T MISS THIS OPPORTUNITY! Participants will leave inspired and empowered with information
and strategies that make employment a viable option for persons once thought to be unemployable.
Session 2: Discovery, the Process
Presenter: Michael Callahan, International Consultant on Employment & Transition
Saturday – April 2, 2011
1:00 pm – 4:00 pm
Location: To Be Determined
The Discovery Process is a strategy used as a substitute to comparison-based testing procedures
in that it utilizes already-existing information rather than information developed through formal
assessment methods. It takes into account the applicant’s entire life experiences rather than single
instances of performance.
DON’T MISS THIS OPPORTUNITY! Mr. Callahan will review steps need to complete the discovery
process. An interactive process that allows the provider to get to know the applicant and to assist
in identifying personalized preferences and conditions for employment as well as individual
contributions to be offered to employers.
Person Centered Thinking & Plan Facilitation
Presenters: Laura Buckner, M.Ed., LPC – University of Texas Austin & Jeff Garrison-Tate, M. Ed. Texas A&M University
May 9 -10, 2011 ▪ 9:00 – 4:00 │ Person Centered Thinking
May 11 – 12, 2011 ▪ 9:00 – 4:00 │ Plan Facilitation (Prerequisite – Completion of Person Centered Thinking)
Both 2 day sessions will be held at TCU – Dee Kelly Alumni & Visitors Center – Ft. Worth
2820 Stadium Drive – Ft. Worth, Texas 76109
Space is limited & registration is required!
For additional information about the sessions above, please refer to the attached fliers.
If unable to open the fliers please visit: www.arcnetc.org.
Angels in Switzerland
I’m so grateful for the angels God puts on Earth. I never know when I’ll meet one, or get to spend time with a whole flock of them, like today.
(We’re setting up Sam’s internship … last step before graduation.)
I will share more details in the weeks to come, but all you parents of kids with autism, remember this: accept the angels for who they are and what they do. Let them be the angels God sent them to be. Your life will be better, richer, lovelier, happier …
Those things you worry about? Don’t try to bend the angels to your will. I practiced that lesson today. I’m trusting that things will work out. Because they always do.
Really.
They do.
When Baby Birds Fly
Earlier this week, the boys and I drove to Plano. We checked the route to SMU in Plano.
(We did some other cool stuff, like eat a terrific lunch at Whiskey Cake Kitchen Cafe, and buy some shirting fabric to make Michael two more custom dress shirts … his mother is his secret tailor.)
But SMU in Plano is home to the place where Sam is hoping to do his internship this spring.
Some dedicated parents and professionals have started nonPareil.institute, a computer workgroup for young adults on the autism spectrum. Sam wants to volunteer as part of a practicum he needs to complete his computer technology certificate at North Central Texas College.
We’ve been taking this whole thing in baby steps. It has been extraordinarily difficult to find help in searching for an internship for him. First of all, state resources meant to help … major vacuum there.
The college isn’t quite yet set up to assist students like Sam in the search — in the past, they have had their hands full just managing and approving the opportunities students found for themselves. Hopefully, that will change as the program grows and matures at the Corinth and Flower Mound campuses.
Job fairs at nearby UNT? For UNT students only … no sharing. I suggest renegotiating boundaries there — just like they’ve done with scores of other resources college kids need to succeed.
A friend in the computer business heroically, graciously did a little bit of legwork for us, enough for us to understand that Sam couldn’t just walk into the door of a company and offer himself for a computer hardware tech internship. He would have to find out who the vendor was that provided the service and take it from there.
Holy cow. That seemed like asking someone to find out who brings the bagel cart every morning and then finding out if they’ll let him arrange the cream cheeses before the carts head out the door every morning.
I think. I don’t know. Computer tech isn’t my world. My world is “content creation.”
But, as luck and Divine Intervention would have it, someone caught a presentation by the nonPareil people at an autism conference and they passed the materials on to me. I shared with NCTC, an advisor at NCTC reached out, and finding the waters warm, on Tuesday, we drove there and walked around the building to get a vibe.
No people vibes, just driving and building vibes.
As I said, baby steps.
That was enough to get Sam pretty jazzed. He called the director and left a message. And applied for a tolltag.
That just about made me weep. I was girding myself for driving him there two times a week. But Sam says, “I can make that drive. I like this area. I could even get an apartment here.”
I reminded him that internships don’t pay, and the rent at Chez Wolfe can’t be beat. Especially at the SO NY Lofts at Tennyson and the Tollway.
Baby steps, son. Baby steps.
Always
Mark’s can-fix-it talent lives on in Sam, who just repaired the computer printer. Mark’s “visualize anything” lives on in Paige, who just caught a connecting flight in Kansas City in her stocking feet. Mark’s broad shoulders live on in Michael, who just split the Christmas errand frenzy with me today. Mark’s heart lives in mine, forever.