Graduation
Sam got a 100 on his final final.
He has to do about 12 more hours to finish his internship.
He watched a video class on job-seeking two or three times last weekend, then wrote a paper about what he learned.
Another cliff is coming, right around the corner.
Making Pesto
We picked our first batch of basil from the garden tonight. My mother says the more you harvest, the more you get.
Thai basil (the purple-stalked type) volunteers in my garden now. That makes a nice, sharp pesto. But we picked the genovese basil tonight.
I asked Sam if he wanted to help make the pesto, since it’s about his favorite way to dress pasta. I said first, you have to pick all these leaves off the stems. I told him, “it’s kind of a job.”
He shot back, “I think that’s an easy job.”
And I remembered why the man can build computers over and over, and build sound sets for his old-school midi on Sibelius, and why other young adults like him can do the same exacting job over and over again
Daniel Shackleford, who’s about Sam’s age and moved from Krum to live at Marbridge in Austin, works at a hospital sterilizing medical equipment and packing it in bags. You can’t get bored and make mistakes at that kind of job. People would get sick. Daniel loves the exacting, repetitive nature of the work. The same kind of thing that would put me to sleep.
About 30 minutes later, Sam was ready to pulse the leaves with the rest of the ingredients: pine nuts, garlic, salt, olive oil. When I added the parmesean cheese and the butter, he complained about having to push the pulse button on the blender over and over.
“I thought this had an automatic pulse cycle,” he said.
Well, maybe not all the repetitive tasks ….
Saturday in Richardson
I will be talking to parents at Education Service Center Region 10 from 9 a.m. to 1 p.m. Saturday.
The meeting will be in the Mockingbird Room in the Abrams Building, 904 Abrams Road, Richardson.
I will be sharing information about Texas Parent-to-Parent and People First language for the first half of the meeting — talks that have been developed and refined by the good people at Texas Parent-to-Parent
During the second half of the meeting, we’ll discuss ethics in treatment decisions, why it’s important, and how to be successful with it. This talk was developed first by Shahla Ala’i-Rosales, a professor of behavior analysis at the University of North Texas, and an expert with years of clinical experience treating children with autism.
I’ll bring a book or two to give away.
Overheard in the Wolfe House #99
Sam: Which song is it that you just played?
Peggy: Someone to Watch Over Me.
Sam: You’re getting really good at it.
Peggy: Well, thank you, Sam.
Sam: I don’t think any midi device could play it that well.
Overheard in the Wolfe House #98
Peggy (through the bathroom door): I can’t talk right now. I’m sick.
Sam: I’m feeling queasy too. (to himself). Both Mom and I are sick at the same time. It’s a fungus.
Overheard in the Wolfe House #97
Sam: Sorry to send you to the store before you came home.
Peggy (handing over the new color print cartridge): But I did it.
Sam: And it’s wonderful.
Slippery slope
One of my big fears, as I slowly let go and let Sam have his adult life, is that someone will come into his life and take advantage of him. Sam has pretty good defenses. But they aren’t impervious.
I learned today of a scenario I never considered — he needs more than a defense against a manipulating co-worker, a neighborhood con artist, or a really bad girlfriend, but a solid radar when someone close to him has crossed the line, too.
Even us without autism have a tough time going against someone who purportedly loves us and “wants the best for us,” but is an expert at justifications and rationalizations when it comes to taking care of their needs first.
Oh, new things to think about.
Getting distracted
I didn’t think it possible we’d get through April, autism awareness month, without at least one discussion of “it.”
Andrew Wakefield and the MMR vaccine and autism.
Oh, I am so weary of “it.” But The New York Times ran a nice long one for us on Easter Sunday. All about the parents who irrationally defend the doctor who can’t even practice medicine anymore. He still believes. So do they.
His one legacy may be his identification of the need to research bowel problems, and to that I say, amen. That needs to happen.
But my goodness people, don’t go experimenting on our children based on some half-baked theory. First, do no harm. Even when we vow to be conservative and gentle, we can find there dozens of ways to get after problems that need to be solved.
I believe the rest of this battle is a distraction for parents who need support in their grief work, and support in dealing with this role of caregiver that can be unbelievably demanding. Don’t stand on a balcony in Austin, Texas, and pretend you are in Tuscany. You’re wasting our time.
Overheard in the Wolfe House #96
Peggy: (lifting the tagine lid to check on the lamb stew)
Sam: Wow, Mom. Way to go!
What You Know Best
Today there was lots of chatter today in the public radio and television sphere about autism. Diane Rehm hosted a segment in the second hour of her show, based in large part on the piece that’s running on public television right now.
As I was listening today, I thought a lot about how much the world has changed for youngsters with autism and their families in the past 20 years. One of the guests even helped bridge that gap in discussing her 16-year-old with autism a little.
Her son was diagnosed when he was 2. That seemed like such a luxury to me. Two years of anguish we would have been spared if we’d gotten a diagnosis that much sooner.
And as I was listening, I thought about how I’d made a pitch to her shows producers — let us talk about early intervention and behavioral treatments, let us show you that they work. Then, like most people might feel, I wasn’t surprised my pitch was passed by, possibly even ignored. Who am I to think I had something to offer this greater conversation, with these incredibly smart knowledgeable people on air right now? Every once in a while they bring up something I didn’t know — proof I’m an imposter.
Then, they’ll blow right by a topic — the upcoming cohort of adults with autism and how are we to support them in having full, productive lives — just open the door and say, “see, we’ve got a problem coming,” without articulating that problem in any sort of way.
I have an inkling of how to articulate that. That has been part of this blog from the beginning … just feeling my way through the darkness. We weren’t completely driven off the cliff, but it was close.
I’ll try to keep that in mind with the upcoming training I’m giving May 7 in Richardson at the Region 10 Education Service Center. I’m not an expert on what’s new and great for the young set. But I can tell you what you will need in the future — and how to make the best use of your precious time and resources on the way to the future.
And I hope the national conversation goes a little further — and real soon — about articulating what we need to do for this cohort.